Finding a church can be a daunting task with a church on every other street corner in towns and cities. Before you begin the search you really should ask yourself, “Why do you want to go to church?” The answer to that question will greatly drive what you will find. If you want to find a church simply to fulfill some mystical duty or obligation or resolve some guilt in your life then just about any church will do. If you want to find a church because you are getting serious about learning who God is, understanding who we are as made in his image, and you want to grow your spiritual life or that of your family, then finding the right church is paramount. So from a pastor’s perspective, let me give you some advice…
Size doesn’t always matter. Like moths attacked by light, we as humans are often attacked by flashy and big but big is not always better. There are wonderful large churches all across the American landscape and they can offer a great worship experience, many programs for the kids and family, and they can accomplish bigger-than-life missional endeavors but they can also be hard to break into, easy to get lost in the crowd, and frankly be spiritually dead (I preface by saying “Can Be!”). On the other end of the spectrum, you have the average small church. Recent Barna research found that the average size church in America is still around 60 people. But small does not mean healthy either. A small church can be ingrown, focused only on survival, be way too single-family-focused (for example one family runs the church), and can be out of touch with current society. So size really doesn’t matter.
A small church is a wonderful place for healing and growth. The upside and downside of a small church is that you can’t easily hide. The Old “Cheers” song rings in my mind:
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came
You want to be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same
You want to be where everybody knows your name
That is probably the most fitting theme song for most healthy small churches. While a small church may not offer a robust children’s and teens ministry, while their worship music may not be “professional”, while they may not have a paid staff member to meet every need, they can provide so much more in personal care. In a healthy small church, your family becomes the church family. Your children will be given opportunities a larger church even of 200 could never afford. Your teenagers can get involved in helping on the worship team, leading a Sunday School class, getting involved in the nursery, or a hundred other ways. In a small church, you do not have to hunt to find ways to get involved as there are always plenty of things for everyone to do.
The transverse is also true. If you are at a point in your life where you just need to soak in God, a larger church may be a better fit. In a large church, you can come and go without being asked too much to be involved. The scale and professionalism in a large church are going to be much higher than in a small church and if you enjoy concert-like worship services with lights, great singers, and snappy music that stay with you all week, a larger church may be your better option. If you want to have a large variety of like-minded people to become friends with, your odds will be much better in a large church. I’ll be honest, I have a daughter, who longs for friendships and would love to meet the guy of her dreams and I have suggested that she investigate some larger churches as the pool of people is just so much greater than in a small church.
So both big and small church can be healthy or unhealthy, so don’t let the size of the church fully dictate your decision. Both small and great can offer what you need but simply in much different ways.
Okay, how about the checklist for those of you who have to have it?
Is the church Biblically based? You won’t find the answer to this on a plaque somewhere, you’ll have to dig in a bit. Does the pastor use the Bible during his sermons? Does he/she let the Bible speak and not just use it as a tag on to his/her sermon points? Do they have small groups centered on the Bible and not just “book” studies? (It’s okay for a church to have some book studies but they should also be offering small groups that focus on and use the Bible in their daily lives.)
Can you find their core values somewhere? Do they value following God’s ways? Does what they value match up to your values? Are they concerned about making a difference? Do they value God’s word?
Are they friendly? This may seem like an odd question but both big and small churches can be friendly or not so friendly? Do you feel welcomed as a stranger and valued for simply being you?
Are they missional? Are they working to accomplish something great for God? The size of what they are able to do is obviously going to be related to the size of the church but do they care about their community and do they care about making a difference in the world around them for Jesus?
Can you get involved? This is a multi-sided question. One, do you feel that you and your family would be welcomed to get involved in the church (but this needs to be balanced against them being “needy” as that is not healthy)? Are they close enough to your home where you could easily be involved in their church and their mission? Do you mind the drive to the church if you had to make it a couple times a week?
Do they hide their theology? This may seem like a strange consideration but it is important. Theology is simply the discussion and contemplation of God…what do we “think” about God and his ways? When a church hides their theology, hides what they believe in order to attract new people it is a red flag of unhealth. Not everyone is going to fit everywhere. A church and a pastor that is open about what they believe about God is important and it is better to investigate those things upfront rather than later. After you have spent the effort to build some relationship with people in the church it is not a good time to have to part company over theological issues that rise to the surface.
Have they tried something new in the past 6 months? The answer to this question speaks volumes about a church and it is so easy to unearth. You can quickly discover if a church is trying some new things simply by looking at their bulletin, web page, or announcement board. If the church has done nothing new in years, I would avoid the church because it is likely unhealthy. Healthy churches (regardless of size) are willing to try new things for God. They are looking for new ways to expand their mission and help more people. They are constantly looking for new ways to improve and help their local communities as well as the global community. They are secure enough in God and who they are to let go of “the way its always been done” in order to discover new ground that God is leading them to.
Finally pray: I do not leave this as an after thought but save it to the end for the final capstone. I believe God wants you to be a vital part of a local church! You need the church but the church also needs you. God has gifted you and your family in special ways and those gifts in a right church can have a world changing impact. Prayer is a powerful way of inviting God into the job of finding a church home. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal his thoughts about each church you visit and ask that he gives you a “gut” instinct about them.
Finding a church home is a daunting task. I hope you will not just find a place to attend but that you will discover an extended spiritual family to become a part of. In many ways our church families can become tighter than our real families. A church family can bring healing to our souls, it can be there when real family can not, they can provide a community of people who love and care for each other in untangable and very tangible ways. I hope these random thoughts may help you on your journey.
Random thoughts from
Pastor John Baker’s desk